Where Are You, Bedtime?

You know what’s the best thing ever? Bedtime. When the crazies who have torn through every room in your house like a hurtling, out-of-control tornado slumber into dream land and the house falls silent and still. Oh yeah, I start feeling giddy every night around the 7 p.m. mark … 45 minutes from pure bliss and the countdown begins. (OK, fine, the countdown begins way earlier in the day, but I was trying to be PC—you know, parentally correct.)

The bedtime routine around here is super simple (and yet still somehow, someway made complicated by the aforementioned crazies): brush your teeth, go to the bathroom, read two books of your choice, say your prayers, hugs and kisses, and SAYONARA!! But even that feels daunting most days. Chalk it up to mental fatigue. No, chalk it up to mental, physical, emotional, social (media), and spiritual fatigue. Yeah, that sounds about right.

But when those bedroom doors close and I’m settled on the couch in front of the TV munching on my midnight sweet treat (and dreaming about the luscious coffee I’m going to devour the next morning) … now, that is love. I don’t think there’s ever been a day in the past six-plus years where I didn’t yearn for bedtime. I will admit there have been a few select nights where I’ve said to my husband “Wow, the kids were really good today. If only they could be like that every day, this parenting thing would be so much easier.” But even then, I’m ready for bedtime. And then there are those “other” days. Oh, boy. Those days where I’m hanging on by a thread and I literally have no clue how we even survived until lunch, let alone bedtime.

I had one of those days last week (last night, too, actually) and for whatever reason, I burst out with my own personal rendition of “Where Are You, Christmas?”—you know, the song Faith Hill sings for Jim Carrey’s How The Grinch Stole Christmas—only I replaced “Christmas” with “Bedtime.” No idea where it came from, but we’re all Christmas fanatics in this house (who isn’t, right?!) and there’s been a lot of talk lately about celebrating Christmas in July (I understand it’s August, but my kids don’t know one month from the other). We didn’t but I would be lying if I said it hasn’t crossed my mind—I am 100% ready for the holidays.

In any event, as I was joke-singing about bedtime, my husband and I started cracking up (maybe even cackling) and miraculously I felt a whole lot better. So, I decided to “rewrite” the entire song and I thought I’d share my version here. If you can, pull up the video on YouTube and sing along … it’s good for at least a laugh on this long, dreary, hurricany day.

“Where Are You, Bedtime?”

Ohhhhhh, ohhhh, ohhh, mmmmmm
Where are you, Bedtime
Why aren’t you here yet
Why won’t you come and stay
Where is the silence
You always bring me
When will I hear the whining cease
My patience’s waning
I’m suffocating
Does that mean Bedtime destructs, too, ohhhhhh
Where are you, Bedtime
Do you remember
The mom you used to know
I’m not the same mom
See what the long day’s done
Is that why you have left me cold, ohhhhhh
Eight o’clock is here, I cannot bear, ohhhhhh
Bedtime is here, if you dare, ohhhhhh
If there is pain in your head and your bones
You will cherish Bedtime all the time, ohhhhhh
I exalt you, Bedtime
I know I’ve reached you
You never disappoint, ohhhhhh
The solace of Bedtime
Fuels and inspires us
Fills each and every parent with joy
Where are you, Bedtime
Fill our home with silence
Mmmmmmmmmm

Oh, bedtime, how I love thee. LOL!

In all seriousness, playing around with this song makes me laugh and it’s nice to share some of that levity on my blog once in a while—in between all the heavy stuff I write about. Hopefully, it brings a smile to someone else’s face, too. Who knows, maybe at the end of the day another parent will remember my little ditty and feel lighter somehow. That would be nice. Or maybe it will inspire other renditions of this or another song within the confines of child-rearing. Now, that would be awesome! If you do pen a piece of your own, please, please, please with a cherry on top share it here … let’s find any way to keep that sun shining, friends!