RIP, Kenny Rogers, you will be missed.
I realize I’m going to sound like an 80-year-old when I say this, but I love Kenny Rogers and I am so sad to hear of his passing. Thoughts of him invoke so many poignant memories from my childhood. Every time we lose someone from those days (I’m aware he dates further back than when I was a young girl) it’s as if a small piece of my childhood dies with them. It’s a stark, overwhelming reminder that life is fleeting, and we won’t ever get those moments back. Then again, you all know how much I love to live in the past, if only for a little while.
The one Kenny Rogers memory that sticks out the most—believe it or not—is my Babu & Dziadziu’s 45th wedding anniversary in 1994(!!). We had a huge party for them in Syracuse at a hall that, sadly, no longer exists except in our hearts. The thing that made this particular anniversary so memorable is that their seven children gifted them a video montage of our whole family: pictures from when my Babu & Dziadziu were growing up to when they first started dating in 1947 to their wedding in 1949 to the births of their seven kids and finally to the arrivals of their grandchildren—up to that point in time at least (as of today, they have 21 grandchildren and 18 great-grandchildren, with two more on the way!).
I don’t remember specific details from the party itself other than acting like crazy teenagers and pretending we ran the joint with all my cousins, LOL. Oh, oh, and sipping on “Shirley Temples” and pretending to be one of the “adults!” (For those of you who don’t know, a Shirley Temple is a mixed drink traditionally made with ginger ale and a splash of grenadine and garnished with a maraschino cherry.) But I do recall the moment we rolled out that montage, one part of which played against Kenny Rogers’ “Through The Years.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house and to this day I can’t listen to that song without bursting into tears. Even as I write this, I feel them welling up and I’m not even listening to the song! It’s just so powerful and timely, even now, especially now considering how long couples stay married and faithful these days. The words take my breath away, to be honest. I already feel that way about my husband and I’ve only spent eight years and some-odd months with him. So, I can barely imagine what it’s going to be like once we’ve lived through our years. I bet I won’t even be able to put it into words when that time comes. It really puts life into perspective when you look back on several decades’ worth of marriage—how much the world changes, how much you change. I wonder how my Babu feels after all this time … I’ll have to ask her one day soon.
My Babu and Dziadziu made it to 64 years before my Dziadziu passed away in August 2013. What’s even more amazing is that their anniversary is July 30 and my Dziadziu died on Aug. 1. He held on just long enough for them to have one last anniversary together, and she was the only one in the room when he finally let go. How perfect and poetic is that?! I can’t believe that was six-and-a-half years ago already. Where did that time go? His funeral was the last time my entire family came together. We’re all scattered across the U.S.; the only time we’re ever in the same place are weddings and funerals. Those cousins who I grew up with and spent my childhood days playing with in Babu & Dziadziu’s front (sometimes back) yard are the same cousins I rarely see or speak with today. It’s no one’s fault; life just gets in the way. But damn, that makes me so incredibly sad.
My family are all scheduled to converge on Syracuse in June for my Babu’s 90th birthday extravaganza, but, well, now we don’t even know if that’s going to happen considering this whole pandemic situation. ☹ It’s so depressing and disheartening. I’ve been waiting excitedly for months and months to have this party and I would give anything for it to go on as planned so that the last time we’re all together is a happy, fun, festive occasion. Anything less is just … unthinkable. For now, though, I refuse to give up hope because hope is all we can cling to in these dark times.
And so, cling I will. After my Dziadziu passed, my family made copies of that video montage and suddenly I’m desperate to watch it. I can’t think of a better way to spend my Saturday morning or a better way to bid farewell to my beloved Kenny Rogers, who decorated my life with so many beautiful and joyful memories that I’ll carry with me forever.