The Things We Need Most

We all are God’s children,
we have to learn to love one another.
Just remember they could be us,
Remember we all are brothers.

— “This One’s For The Children,” New Kids On The Block (written by Larry Johnson/Larry Curtis Johnson)

Wait for it … last night I sat here with tears in my eyes as I listened to New Kids On The Block’s Merry, Merry Christmas album, specifically the song quoted above. Why? I’m sure some of it was pure nostalgia (I idolized the New Kids as a young girl), but there’s a lot more to the story.

My emotional overreaction came on the heels of Monday’s family movie night. We decided to watch Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch (2018), a fun, fresh, and sweet interpretation of an oldie but goodie story, and it put me in a sentimental mood. One of the things I love about this particular adaptation is the way they portray the Grinch not as a, well, mean old grinch, but as a sad, vulnerable, misunderstood character who’s faced some hardships in life and simply wants someone to love him. When you think about it, doesn’t that describe all of us today, too?

In the penultimate scene of the movie—after he’s stolen and returned all of the Whos’ presents and decorations and apologized for his actions—Cindy Lou Who visits the Grinch and invites him to her house for Christmas dinner. The Grinch, understandably bewildered, blusters:

“What, me? But I took your gifts and your trees. I stole your whole Christmas.”

“Yeah, I know you did, but we’re inviting you anyway,” replies Cindy Lou.

“But why?” says the Grinch.

“Because you’ve been alone long enough,” Cindy Lou says.

*wipes tears*

I could feel his loneliness, his desperation for company and friendship and understanding in that moment, especially coming off a year spent almost solely in isolation myself (aside from my husband and kids). One minute he’s alone and the next he’s got a friend. Just like that. All it took were a few kind, simple words and the Grinch was welcomed into Cindy Lou’s home, where he (finally) let down his guard and was thoughtful and helpful and gracious. And everyone else was, too–despite their all too obvious differences. As they sit down for dinner the Grinch delivers this speech:

“I’ve spent my entire life hating Christmas and everything about it. But now I see that it wasn’t Christmas I hated. It was being alone. But I’m not alone anymore and I have all of you to thank for it, but especially this little girl right here. Ma’am (he says to Cindy Lou’s momma), your daughter’s kindness changed my life.”

Damn. If those aren’t the words every parent wants to hear about her child …

The movie ends with this line (the Grinch makes a final toast): “To kindness and love, the things we need most!”

It brings tears to my eyes just typing that. To kindness and love, the things we need most. When the movie ended, I felt so sad in my heart, so sad about the current state of our world. In my lifetime, I don’t think there’s ever been a moment where we needed those two things more than we do right now. Yet they’ve never felt further from my reach. We are stuck in a world filled to the brim with hate, injustice, racism, violence, fear, anger, greed, competition, vitriol, dishonesty, disunity. And it’s only getting worse. (Please, God, don’t let it get worse.)

Every day I ask myself why it’s so hard for people to be kind and loving and compassionate. Isn’t that the world we want to live in? Isn’t that the world we want for our children? What kind of a legacy are we leaving for them? The New Kids had it right back then, and today: This one is for our children. They are the future of this country, and we desperately need to do right by them. We need to show them that love, tolerance, brotherhood, civility, and empathy are what truly matter. We must teach them to care for and help others, to critically think for themselves, to stand tall in the face of adversity, to appreciate and accept others’ differences and views, even when they differ from their own, especially when they differ from their own.

Parents already have the hardest job in the world: raising other humans. But that job takes on a whole new meaning today because we are living in a world unlike any other thanks to the Internet, social media, political polarization in the extreme. But that doesn’t mean we can’t rise to the challenge. That doesn’t mean we can’t change the story for the good. I want my children to be the solution, not the problem, and that means my work starts here at home. Maybe I’m setting myself up for an impossible task but at this point what have I got to lose?

Nothing.

So, I’ll be here, quietly and faithfully doing my part. In the meantime, I’m going to continue to pray for this country and all of her people. And I’m going to savor every single second of this glorious holiday season, with the hope that the new year brings peace on earth and goodwill toward men, two things we truly do need the most.