Whenever my mind needs a rest, I escape into music, listening, contemplating, writing about it. It is a key ingredient in the recipe of my life, and one that keeps me sane(r) and lifts my spirit on the heaviest of days. And 2020 certainly served up its fair share of heaviness (although 2021 is giving 2020 a run for its money). Through it all, though, I refused to let the darkness win. In that sense, music became my ally, encouraging me to persevere no matter how many times my mind played devil’s advocate. It sounds silly to say it like that, but it’s truly amazing how cathartic and uplifting music can be when you’re struggling (as evidenced by the number of livestream performances I bought last year!).
Since March 2020, so many songs—across many different genres—have given me this sense of hope and strength, but certain ones really stand out in their profoundness. So, here are 10 songs that cropped up repeatedly over the past year as symbols of the harmony I so consistently seek:
1) “Bridge Over Troubled Water” (Josh Groban): No list of mine would be complete without Josh, but the selection might surprise you. I never considered this one of my favorite songs—the original or Josh’s version—but holy cow did it ring a personal note for me in 2020 within the overwhelming confines of loneliness, fear, and sadness. So many times, I found myself playing it on repeat. It is such a soothing, consoling, relatable song because who doesn’t need a bridge during troubled times? We all need someone we can rely on … at the drop of a hat, no questions asked, any day of the week, and twice on Sundays. When I listen to this song, when I really listen, I can almost sense a presence out there watching over me, praying for me, fighting for me. Whether you believe in that or not, it’s a powerful perception and one I really needed as the months of isolation dragged on. Of course, Josh’s Voice always puts my mind and soul at ease, but the gravity of it is even more touching in this song.
2) “Autumn” (Ryan Stewart): I love many instrumental compositions, but this beauty takes the cake, the frosting, and the sprinkles. There’s just something about it that quiets my mind. I wrote about this song in March 2020, not long after quarantine began, when I was yearning for the holiday season and wondering what it would look like, and I’ve probably listened to it 100 times since. The haunting orchestral tones speak to me of Central Park blanketed with freshly fallen snow (God, I miss the city so much), church bells ringing in the distance, leaves blowing in the crisp autumn winds, the aroma of a warm apple pie baking on a Sunday afternoon, Christmases of years long past. Autumn is by far my favorite season. I simply adore that time of year—sweater weather, pumpkin everything, ancient (and early) evenings, the excitement of the approaching holidays, and my family’s packed list of Christmas traditions. And this melody brings me right back there—to happier, festive, homier days—whether it’s on a cold, cloudy morning smack dab in the middle of January or in the sweltering heat and humidity of a bright, sunny afternoon in July.
3) “Gravity” (Sara Bareilles): Behind Josh, Sara Bareilles is my other musical soulmate. Her lyrics sing the story of my life and I pretty much adore every one of her songs. “Gravity,” though, is my favorite because it conjures up lonelier, unhappier times spent wasting away over failed relationships. Odd, right, that I would be thinking about past relationships decades later in the middle of a pandemic? Maybe so but, don’t forget, I love wallowing in my past and in self-pity (ha ha). In all seriousness, this song reminds me just how lucky I am to have my husband. He is my rock, my best friend, my partner-in-crime, and the only person in the whole world with whom I would ever want to live through a pandemic-quarantine! Notwithstanding his failed attempts to sing every song known to man (including Josh) in the highest of falsettos. (Shh, don’t tell him I told you, but he sounds like a sick cat.)
4) “Both Sides Now” (Joni Mitchell/Josh Groban-Sara Bareilles): I gushed over this song a month ago—both versions—and I stand by my reverence. It’s so easy to get caught up in our illusions about the world in which we’re living (and our place in that world), but when I hear these lyrics, and the agony behind them, it not only makes me cry (yes, I cry a lot) but it forces me to acknowledge my own personal illusions, to recenter myself, and to refocus on what really matters: being present, being aware, and moving forward in a wholly positive way. I cannot get enough of this song; it’s brilliant.
5) “Anchor Me” (The Tenors): This lyric says it all: “When sadness crashes like an ocean, when fear is deeper than the sea, when I am swallowed by the darkness, will you come and anchor me?” I don’t think it’s an understatement to say 2020 was a deep, dark ocean of sadness and fear, compounded by a heartbreaking inability to seek solace in family and friends. This song speaks to that, acknowledging (and accepting) those moments when our anguish is so deep, so dark, so acute, and how crucial it is to have someone with whom to share our sorrows. To be that anchor against the waves that threaten to drown us. It can make all the difference in the world. None of us is an island; we all need someone to keep us safe, secure, and grounded and I thank God every day that I have a someone willing and able to love me and support me unconditionally. Great, great song.
6) “Pieces” (Rob Thomas): Another lyrical pearl: “Run away, run away if you can’t speak, turn a page on a world that you don’t need, wide awake and you’re scared that you won’t come down now …” Turn a page on a world you don’t need. Well, damn, if that doesn’t define the world today, I don’t know what does. Who wouldn’t give anything to turn the page on this relentlessly tragic story? Or any of our sad, tortured stories, in fact. “We build it up, we tear it down, we leave our pieces on the ground, we see no end, we don’t know how, we are lost and we’re falling.” I’ve always been my own worst enemy, overthinking and second-guessing every decision I make, blaming myself for things that aren’t my fault, tearing myself apart over and over again and then watching as those pieces flutter to the ground in my wake, and this past year was even worse than usual. It’s … exhausting and debilitating. We all do this to some extent, but just for a second it’s nice to be reminded that we are only human, we are not alone in these feelings, and that those pieces we leave behind in sorrow are all too often the steppingstones toward something (or someone) better. This song does that for me. Plus, I love Rob Thomas’ voice.
7) “This One’s For The Children” (New Kids On The Block): Oh, the New Kids. They were my first true loves in the musical world and will always hold a special place in my heart. Surprisingly, their Christmas album was front and center for us this past holiday season, thanks to my children, who requested I play it repeatedly! Not that I was complaining. Most years I get so wrapped up in my beloved classics that I forget there are other amazing Christmas albums out there, and this is one of them. Granted, it probably stems mostly from nostalgia, but this album has so many good songs, especially this one, which I wrote about in November on a particularly hard day. Parents have been hit with a double-, triple-, quadruple-whammy of crap since last March and sometimes that makes it hard to see the beauty and the joy in this “job” of ours. I think that’s why this song hit me so hard when I played it back in November. It really made me think about what the future is going to look like for our kids. I wish we could all put our differences behind us and do right by our children by fixing what’s broken in this country. It starts at home, this huge responsibility, by teaching kindness, compassion, humility, morality. And by giving our kids the tools they need to understand, appreciate, and respect diversity and adversity. There has never been a more critical time for these lessons. Our babies are the ones who will be forced to deal with the consequences we all know are coming down the line. Is this really the legacy we want to leave behind for them? *Sigh* I pray for them and for their future every single day.
8) “Something Just Like This” (Coldplay and The Chainsmokers): Phew, finally a fast, fun, upbeat jam! This song, man, this song!! I only just discovered the awesomeness of it in 2020 and thank goodness I did. I love everything about it: the chill beat, the music, the guitar riffs, the drums, the “I want a superhero but don’t want a superhero” lyrics, Chris Martin’s unique gravelly voice. I’ve played it so many times over the last year, on repeat (it’s a great beat for folding laundry ha ha). It’s just one of those songs that makes you want to crank it up and rock out with your … well, never mind, you get the gist. Oh, and that chorus, when the music kicks up? Pure coolness, baby. Gets me every time. Listen, pause here and just go play it; make sure your volume’s all the way up! But then come back—don’t forget to come back!
9) “Hot Chocolate” (from The Polar Express soundtrack): Christmas movies and music are a huge part of my family’s holiday traditions and The Polar Express is tops on our list. My kids are crazy about this soundtrack, so much so that I planned a Polar Express night for my son’s 5th birthday this year (he’s a Christmas Eve baby). It was just the four of us, so we put on our PJs, gobbled up our pizza (my son’s favorite meal), and danced under the glow of our Christmas tree while listening to The Polar Express soundtrack in its entirety. This song brings huge smiles to my kids’ faces every time. And mine, too, if I’m being honest. It’s such a simple, fun, happy song, especially when you’re all grown up and jumping up and down on the couch, which our kids really got a kick out of! We ended our birthday party with hot chocolate, a heavenly homemade marble cake, and a reading of The Polar Express. That night stands out as the best of the best from all of 2020.
10) “Hymn To Hope” (Secret Garden): What better song to end my list. For starters, I am obsessed with the violin, the sweet sound of which fills this song and gives me all the feels. It has this eerie, mournful quality that chills me to the bone and yet somehow makes my heart soar. As if that wasn’t reason enough to hit the repeat button, then there’s the song title … hope and prayer, that powerhouse duo I wrote about last week. Any time this song comes on, I can’t help but see it as a sign. A reminder that hope is not lost and that the tragedies we are all facing today will pass … maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, but eventually. We just need to hang tight, support one another, pray for one another, and, most importantly, have faith. It’s a beautiful hymn, as are many of Secret Garden’s melodies. “Sometimes When It Rains,” “Anticipation,” “Serenade To Spring,” “Poeme”—I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to check them out.
And there you have it, friends! My 2020 soundtrack of hope and strength. Do you have a particular song, album, or artist that helps lift you up when you’re down? Leave a message below; I’d love to hear about them!