The Leaves Will Fall Again

Music is a godsend. It truly boggles my mind how the “powers that be” want to banish and stop funding the arts because without them oh how sad the world would be (even more than normal). Not a day goes by where music isn’t playing in our home, from the moment I wake up and tiptoe downstairs to the moment we bring the crazies up for bed.

You all know Josh Groban is my all-time fave but I listen to all sorts of stuff: jazz, classical, instrumental, opera, pop, R&B, country, alternative, all the goods from the ‘80s. I have so many favorite artists, too, right now: Sara Bareilles (if anyone other than Josh could be called my musical soulmate, it would be her), Adele, Coldplay (I can’t stop rocking out to their song with The Chainsmokers, “Something Just Like This”), The Piano Guys, Michael Buble, Paul Cardall, Lifehouse, Phil Collins, Ed Sheeran, Ryan Stewart. And so many others.

I started thinking about music this morning when I turned on Pandora. I typically begin our day listening to Paul Cardall’s instrumental station. It’s soothing and peaceful and perfect for the few quiet minutes I have to myself before the kids wake up and chaos ensues. The first song that came on was Ryan Stewart’s “Autumn,” and oh man it’s one of my favorite instrumentals! As soon as the music starts, all the feels wash over me. And today was no different. It was serenely quiet downstairs, the blinds were down, the lights were off, and everything was still. Early morning is my absolute favorite time of day, especially when the kids sleep in and I’m alone.

I sat there with my eyes closed and listened to the tranquil, haunting, melancholic melody fill the room, and nostalgia washed over me. For whatever reason this song makes me think about red, yellow, and orange leaves fluttering around the trees in Central Park and snowy white snowflakes swirling all around me as I walk in the night and then blanketing New York City. It makes me think about fall and children laughing as they dive into piles of fresh, crisp leaves; family gathered around the piled-high Thanksgiving table, heads bowed in prayer; Christmas mornings filled with presents, homemade cinnamon buns, and Percy Faith’s orchestral music; and snuggling by the fireplace while sipping hot cocoa and watching The Polar Express.

Happier times. That’s what I yearn for when I listen to this song. And it feels even more critical today—that wistful sensation whenever I think about autumn—because this year we don’t know what’s in store for us as we move through the seasons. Will our world be back to normal? What does normal even mean anymore? Will we still be feeling scared and anxious and hopeless? Will we still be quarantined in our homes and banned from all things fun? Or will all of this be but a distant memory? I know what I’m hoping and praying for …

For now, though, I’m just grateful to have music and beautiful songs like my “Autumn” to take my mind off today and send me back to a time when happiness and hope and good health felt real and attainable. I know we can’t live in the past, but right now those happy memories are my lifeline and I’m going to hang onto them and relive them for as long as I can. At least until we can put this world back together again.

As T.S. Eliot once said, “You are the music while the music lasts.” So, play on, friends, play on. May our music together never end.

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