Salvation sometimes comes in the unlikeliest of places.
For me, it’s almost always Josh (and all genres of music), books/TV shows (fantasy and historical fiction are my go-tos right now), cooking/baking, writing, coffee and wine, my husband. Hell, even my PJs and slippers save me by the end of the day. Today, though, my salvation—surprisingly!—is my weekly planner. I know, fly ball outta nowhere.
Now, this post sort of has two “parts” because when I first sat down to write it, I was headed in one direction only to find myself rerouted in another direction half-way through. They don’t really have anything to do with one another, but then again, they kind of do. So, let’s back up and start at the beginning.
I’ve always enjoyed organizing, planning, strategizing—personally and professionally—just generally putting my life in order and jotting it down on paper for safekeeping. Having something tangible that I can return to repeatedly and upon which I can contemplate brings me great joy and peace and gives me some sort of control over my often-chaotic life. At this point you may be wondering how in the heck a weekly planner provides salvation during a year in which we’ve all been under quarantine. But here’s where it gets interesting.
Since 2013, I’ve used the Tree of Life daily planner by Images of Grace. It’s a small, basic, lovely little book that served me well for seven years. Each year I filled their pages to the brim with our weekday priorities and responsibilities and our weekend family fun time. Before COVID-19 we always had a jam-packed schedule; there was barely time to breathe let alone carve out time for reflection. And forget about writing down my thoughts and feelings each week. HAHA, yeah right. I didn’t have time for that either, although in my defense there really wasn’t room in this particular planner to do that anyways. But this year, good ole’ 2020, for some unknown reason, my Tree of Life design wasn’t available. Coincidence? I’m not so sure.
I was bummed at the time (I generally buy next year’s planner in September) but then I started researching other options and I discovered something called “The Inner Guide” planner. It’s similar to the Erin Condren version only a lot cheaper (yes, I’m severely cheap—or as my mom always says, “frugal”). Let me tell you, I adore this guide! It’s got space for everything:
- questions for self-discovery;
- a chart to gain clarity on this year’s journey (from where I am now to where I want to be within a year’s time, and how I’m going to get there);
- my inner and outer goals (examples: “to be more aware of negative thoughts” [inner] or “10 new blog posts per month” [outer]);
- visualization techniques to determine my ideal life;
- mind-shift exercises (acknowledging my current mindset about something I’m struggling with and then working to shift that mindset to a more helpful way of thinking);
- ideas for new routines to jump-start inspiration and improve mood and productivity;
- a support snapshot (my overall vision for my desired life, my strengths/weaknesses, my biggest challenges, my support team, etc.);
- goal-setting tips (examples: limiting my daily goals, cutting down on multitasking, scheduling quiet time for myself);
- an annual goal chart to clearly enumerate what I want to achieve and when; and
- weekly, monthly, and yearly assessments for reflecting but also for looking ahead.
It also includes powerful quotes, words of wisdom, intentions for staying on track with my goals, and even a section called “The Nine Guides For Living” (for example, #1 is awareness—awakening to “see” what is so I can live more consciously, thereby enabling me to have more control over my emotions and life).
My favorite part, though, is that for each week, it compartmentalizes the pages so that I can:
- write down my intentions, the results I want to achieve, and the specific actions I will need to take to get there; my top personal and professional goals; and my priorities across a range of categories (family & friends, home, work & education, health & wellness, inspiration & creativity, spirituality, you get the gist);
- rate the quality of my feelings and thought patterns using a “positivity score” (I choose from five circle-face emoticons), and indicate how I aspired to be and feel and the thoughts I needed to embody to stay the course;
- check off the areas of my life in which I felt meaningfully connected (these items are broken out into spirit, body, and mind); and
- record any reflections or ideas I may have had based on that week’s experiences and circumstances, as well as those things for which I was grateful.
Then at the end of each month, there’s a double-page spread where I can chronicle my top challenges and accomplishments; any insights I gained or obstacles I encountered; ways in which I connected with my “inner guide” and supported my mind, body, and spirit; and my views on the quality of the month and what I would do differently during the next month. There are also sections called the “Mid-Year Acknowledgement,” where I assess my progress so far and look ahead to the second half of the year, and “What’s Next,” where I summarize my experience for the year and make plans for the coming year.
Quite honestly, this Inner Guide has been such an eye-opener for me—and an absolute godsend. It’s true, my planner this year looks a lot different from the previous seven. I haven’t filled its beautiful pages with colorful details of family get-togethers, play dates with friends, Disney vacations, county fairs, amusement parks, apple picking, sunflower corn mazes, Sunday dinners, sleepovers with cousins and grandparents, date nights with my husband, school orientations and events, or even our beloved holiday traditions like the Polar Express, which I would typically be booking any day now. Nope, sadly I haven’t done any of that.
And yet, that doesn’t mean my pages are empty and devoid of life. Not even close. They are filled—lovingly and longingly filled—with something even better: Zoom sessions with family and friends, homemade scavenger hunts, family movie nights, virtual birthday parties, quarantine celebrations of life, social distancing trunk “picnics,” pool days, and “happy hours” with family and friends, virtual Disney sing-alongs, livestream Josh Groban concerts and “shower songs,” free online events from the Liberty Science Center (a look at the planets) and the Cincinnati Zoo (watch the tigers in real time), virtual art shows on Instagram, Zoom writing classes, drive-bys to family and friends, beach days, pizza picnics at nearby parks, and even a drive-through safari!
Most of all, though, my pages are vibrantly decorated with rainbows and silver linings, positive intentions and mindful ideas, and heartfelt reflections for a happier, more thankful, more fulfilled life—now and later. I do not believe it was a coincidence that I discovered this guide. God meant for me to have it this year, 2020, as a means of salvation and strength during this mind-boggingly stressful, monotonous, unprecedented time. Somehow He must have known that being able to flip back the pages to yesterday or last month or even March and remember how I felt, why I was happy or sad or depressed or motivated, and which goals I had accomplished or had yet to achieve would truly be a blessing and a boon to my spirit. This book has given me a pastime, a purpose, a way to appreciate just how far I’ve come over the past five-plus months—mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially. And in so doing, it has compelled me to cultivate a constructive way forward for me and for my family. That, in itself, is amazing.
The more therapeutic part of this guide, though, has been the ability to trace my moods and thought patterns each week. This aspect has proven critical because it enables me to examine why a specific emotion took over my mind at any given moment and which thoughts or events triggered that emotional response. I began to use these patterns to set the tone for the coming week, pushing myself to be more mindful about my feelings and to focus on the good things in my life rather than the bad. Which leads me to the next part of my post—the reason I started writing this blog in the first place.
Yesterday morning I sat down at my kitchen table with my planner and began to recap last week and the month of August. When it came time for me to circle the emoticon indicating my moods and thought patterns, I found myself circling the second from the bottom—the one with the sad frown. So, I started flipping back through my book to see the last time I chose this “emotion”; turns out it was all the way back at the beginning of June. Upon further reflection, I realized my thoughts and moods took a turn for the worse about two weeks ago when we lost power for a few days due to Hurricane Isaias. I can’t pinpoint why exactly, but it may have to do with the fact that we’re coming up on my favorite time of year (Autumn and the holidays) and instead of healing, the world seems to be falling further into disarray. There’s really not much to look forward to for the remainder of this year, other than its quick demise.
But then I noticed something. The Monday following my worst week since early June (that’s almost three months ago!), Josh Groban made a double-whammy announcement (after he’d been quiet on the social media front for so long that I was starting to get nervous about his health). Not only will he be releasing a new album in November, but he will also be livestreaming three brand spankin’ new concerts—one featuring Broadway tunes in early October, one showcasing his new album on Thanksgiving Day, and his first-ever holiday show in mid-December. Coincidence? I don’t think so, friends.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Josh Groban saves me every single time. He is my sanctuary, my anchor. One or another of his albums has gotten me through some of the hardest, most challenging days, weeks, months, years of my existence. And now, during the craziest, scariest, loneliest, most depressing year in my lifetime, he comes through—yet again—bearing these glorious gifts. During my most favorite season. Heading into my most favorite holidays. To carry me through the rest of The Year That Shall Not Be Named. Talk about a Halloween treat bundled up in a Thanksgiving blessing wrapped up in a Christmas present, all tied up with a great big, beautiful bow!
And to think I probably wouldn’t have even realized the connection here if it hadn’t been for my Inner Guide—my “journal” of thoughts and emotions on this tumultuous, yet still hopeful, journey through 2020. It’s been a year of hardships, for sure, and one I’d really like to forget. But it’s also been a year of tranquility, contemplation, absolution, appreciation, compassion, family. And I for one am damn grateful that it’s all written down in my wonderful little book so I will always be able to go back and remember the infamous year I (we!) struggled against the weight of the world and survived.