Journey To The Past

I’m taking a much-needed stroll down memory lane today.

I’m not sure how I ended up here because I sat down at my computer thinking about how much I miss church and the peace and solace it offers in times like these, although admittedly we haven’t been in a few months. But then I remembered the last few times I was sitting in that pew and how—surprisingly—I wasn’t praying for or reflecting on my life as it stands now. Instead, I found myself flashing back to some wonderful and enchanting memories from my childhood, things I haven’t thought about in years. Memories like:

  • Spending hours in the basement of our church (along with my brother), knee deep in candy and brownies and cookies and all sorts of goodies that we used to make for the annual Easter bake sale (we loved buying those candy melts from the store, melting them down, and then pouring the smooth, creamy chocolate into molds of every shape and size and relic!).
  • Co-teaching religious education classes to the littles every Sunday with my brother while the priest gave his homily (we were very involved with the church growing up).
  • Rushing downstairs after mass on certain Sundays for a veritable feast of oh so healthy donuts or pancakes, or even to meet Santa or the Easter Bunny!
  • Playing G.I. Joe in the woods behind our house with my brother and cousins, who would sleep over for a week at a time, or strategizing over our G.I. Joe “Commando Attack” board game (the one from 1985 and literally The.Best.Board.Game.Ever!!) or the first-ever Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo (also from 1985!)—man did we love that Mario game; it’s still my favorite version, actually.
  • Catching tadpoles and baby frogs from the small creek in our backyard and watching them float and jump around in water-filled buckets.
  • Creating a snow fort turned “grocery store”—complete with shelves, cubbies, and an icy conveyor belt—in the cul-de-sac where we lived.
  • Coloring an elaborate “computer system” onto the huge tree that lived at the side of our house. (I can’t for the life of me remember what we used that computer system for. 😂)
  • Collecting and trading Garbage Pail Kids cards with other children scattered throughout our neighborhood—we adored walking to the small convenience store in the quaint strip of mom-and-pop shops at the back of our neighborhood to buy pack after pack of these collector cards, and we always wanted the most disgusting “Kids” imaginable, LOL!

Valerie Vomit!

  • Building a super-cool tree fort in the woods behind Mr. O’s house, complete with a rope ladder! I think my brother may have even fallen out of this tree fort … I’ll have to ask him.
  • Eating cheesy broccoli soup at Mrs. F’s house, a lovely, cheesy, delectable recipe I’ve never been able to duplicate.
  • Jumping up and down in the street at Babu & Dziadziu’s house while waiting for the ice cream truck to roll past (Dziadziu never failed to indulge his grandchildren’s every whim and fancy, so as soon as we heard that sweet, sweet whimsical melody call we were off to the end of the driveway, yelling for Dziadziu on the way).
  • Trick or treating as the New Kids On The Block with my brother and two cousins—oh my goodness, could we have been any more pathetic back then?! LOL! No one even knew who the heck we were dressed up as, even though we each wore a pin with a picture of our respective New Kid. Geez, thinking about that still makes me crack up, HAHA!
  • Ruining our appetites right before family dinner at Babu & Dziadziu’s house because we scrounged up as many pennies, nickels, and dimes as we could find, snuck down to the small convenience store around the block, and loaded up on candy, raw chocolate chip cookie dough, and jars of baby food (yes, baby food—a Dutch apple one that doesn’t even exist anymore!).
  • Making up a dance routine with my brother and cousins and practicing it in Babu & Dziadziu’s basement in the hopes of winning a contest on Star Search—an old show from the ‘80s. No way we would have stood a chance if we had decided to follow through on that one! Yes, our moves were just that bad. 😊
  • Celebrating huge family picnics every summer at Green Lakes State Park, just relaxing, eating, swimming, playing all sorts of sports and games.
  • Scarfing down cotton candy, hotdogs, and French fries at the Field Days celebration across from the Big M grocery store in our old stomping grounds, and of course going on all the carnival rides. Man, those were the BEST days ever.

And countless other fleeting moments that seemed like nothing to a young girl without a care in the world but are everything to a grown woman. It’s that age-old adage about not realizing what you have until it’s gone, and we’re probably all guilty of this. All those years we wasted wishing we were “older.” What were we thinking?! Right now, I’d give anything to go back there, when life seemed simple and wholesome. When families stayed together and lived life together. I don’t know, maybe it was all in my imagination or maybe it’s just because I viewed the world through the eyes of a child. Oh, how fun and wonderful it is to be a kid! If only we were smart enough to realize that before it’s too late.

Not that I think 42 is too late. I appreciate that, in the greater scheme of things, I’m still young (in fact, you should see me at Disney World or at any of my Josh concerts, LOL!!) and that I still have a lot to accomplish in my life. But the reality is that I am approaching middle age. Gah! My life is almost half over and when I really sit and think about it, I’m overcome and stunned and horrified that I’m never ever going to get those early years back. Those childlike years of wonder. These last four decades of my life zipped by in the blink of an eye and, considering how much quicker the time seems to pass as I age, I can only imagine how fast the next 42 years are going to fly. The thought of that takes my breath away.

I suppose it sounds sad and depressing to view it like that, but it’s also rejuvenating because those years as a kid were such a wonderful time of my life! And I’m so humbled and thankful for having lived them and for being able to reminisce and write about them and to share them. No matter how hopeless or bitter or scared or anxious I feel, my beloved memories always make me smile and fill my heart with peace and joy. They make me feel like a kid again!

That’s what I want for my children, too. When they’re older and looking back on their lives, I want them to remember these magical days together fondly and longingly. The most amazing thing about being a kid, after all, is the ability to look past all the crap life throws at you and see only the good, the positive, the happiness, the love.

So, let’s all be kids today. Let’s push aside all the negativity, all the fear, all the anxiety and just focus on the magic.

(For anyone interested, my niece wrote a wonderful and poignant children’s book related to this topic. It’s called Older and it’s available here on Amazon.)

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