I’ve talked about my past struggles (outside of parenting) on this blog before—dark days that felt hopeless and lonely and never-ending. One of those times was at the beginning of 2011, following a rugged, painful breakup and a bleak, tear-filled holiday season. I was sad, depressed, lonely, and miserable in my job and my life in NYC. So much so that I had begun thinking about quitting and moving back to Syracuse to be with my family, where I felt loved, safe, and far removed from the chaos my life had become here.
During that tumultuous time, I consistently turned to one person: my dad. I remember phone call after phone call of crying, complaining, worrying, agonizing over where my path was leading. I asked endless questions, of myself and my dad: Should I quit my job cold turkey and move back upstate? Where would I find an editing job in Syracuse? Was I giving up on NYC too soon (even though I had already been here for 10+ years)? Would he and my mom—and everyone else—judge me for wimping out? Would I regret leaving the city? Would I regret staying? Ugh, even now thinking about those days puts a pit in my stomach.
And yet all through that frustrating time, my dad never wavered in his support, in his strength, in his love. He stood by me, listened to me, offered advice when I needed it, and stayed silent when I didn’t. In the end, I decided to stay in NYC—for reasons I won’t get into here. But I never would have been strong enough to get through that time if it hadn’t been for him. It’s no coincidence that I chose Josh Groban’s “You Raise Me Up” for our Father-Daughter Dance at my wedding.
I don’t think of that time often, almost never in fact. But I was reminded of it today, Father’s Day, and so I wanted to take a minute to say thank you, Dad, for always being there for me and for never judging me over the decisions I make. We may not always see eye to eye, and we both know we drive each other crazy most of the time (LOL), but deep down I know you always have my best interests at heart and that no matter where we are in life, I can always turn to you for support, encouragement, and love. I appreciate that more than you could ever know.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad.