A Lifetime Of Pool Days

I spent Friday afternoon in the swimming pool with my daughter, just the two of us. I didn’t plan it that way, but it was the best afternoon I’ve had in a while.

She was in a rare mellow, calm, contemplative mood. And I have to be honest with you, I ate it up. I kept staring at her face, wondering what I did in my life to deserve this kind, beautiful, sensitive soul. That’s not something I say lightly, considering we spend most of our days butting heads. But not that day. That day we giggled, we frolicked, we confided, we teased, we even floated in companionable silence. And the whole time a scrolling list of all the reasons I love and adore her kept flitting through my mind.

I’d like to share some of them here:

• She says things like “I’m filled with happiness” simply because she’s wearing scuba gear and is able to see everything on the bottom of the pool (spiders, leaves, toys).
• She loves ’80s music—Phil Collins, Wham, Queen, even ’80s Christmas songs!
• She shares my crazy passions for the smell of books, holiday socks, and Disney World (Splash Mountain, baby!).
• We call ourselves the “City Girls” because we both adore living it up in The Big Apple.
• She cried when we replaced our old (annoyingly narrow) fridge and replaced it with a brand-new sleek model and still talks about it today, how sad it made her and how much she misses it.
• She mothers her little brother in the most patient, gentle way imaginable. She does everything for him: makes him breakfast, puts on his sunscreen, teaches him numbers and reading, wipes his butt after a poop (lol), helps him clean up his messes (which are numerous). You name it, she’s done it for, to, or with him. And he idolizes her like you wouldn’t believe. It’s the most precious, heartwarming thing to witness.
• She’s a better momma to her baby dolls than I could ever be in real life. In fact, she’s even said this to me point-blank, LMAO! I’ll never forget that time: “Mom, do you see how I’m snuggling Valerie like this? This is what you don’t do for me.” I can’t with this kid!! She makes me laugh every day!
• She’s kind and always aware of what others are feeling. Case in point: On the evening of July 4, a friend of our neighbor came to the other side of the fence bordering our backyard to say hi and introduce her young daughter (who I’m guessing was around 8) to my kids. After speaking for a few minutes, they walked away, and my girl came to tell us about her “friend.” She said she felt so sad for Clementine because she was all alone during the coronavirus and didn’t have anyone to play with at the party,” and then she commented how lucky she is “because she’s got a brother to play with.”
• She loves to tell knock-knock jokes that don’t make any sense and practice saying tongue twisters (favorites include Peter Piper’s peppers and Sally’s seashells).
• She’s always willing to help out: folding laundry (she loves folding socks!), washing dishes, cleaning the bathrooms (she’s an expert sink and mirror cleaner!), picking up toys, making her bed, loading/unloading the dishwasher, dusting, etc.
• Her pictures are always filled with bright, shining suns; dazzling rainbows; pink sandy beaches with beautiful, blue skies; gorgeous gardens filled with colorful flowers; and smiling stick figure families holding hands.
• She can’t go to sleep at night without listening to her kneeling angel snow globe playing “The Lord Is My Shepard.”
• She believes life never ends and that our family will always be together, even after we’ve gone to see Jesus. (This one still chokes me up whenever I think about it.) And that heaven is filled with “colorful flowers and music like what daddy listens to” (she’s referring to the Eucharistic hymn “Pange Lingua Gloriosi”).
• She has some sort of special (and spooky) connection with my Dziadziu, whom she has never met because he died about six months before she was born.
• She loves Christmas Cookie Day—my one-day baking extravaganza every December where I whip up all sorts of yummy confections—and is my designated Sugar Cookie Froster Extraordinaire!
• She snores and it’s adorable.
• She feeds her babies all sorts of vegetables even though she herself won’t touch them (LOL), and when I called her on it, she said “Mom, my babies aren’t real.” What’s even funnier is that when I make comments about how her babies aren’t real, she gives me a look of pure contempt and outrage. 😂
• She leaves trails of crumbs all over the pavers in our backyard “so the ants have something to eat.” (Mommy and daddy don’t particularly appreciate this one, but I love her compassion and kindness.)
• She doesn’t have a mean bone in her body and is in no way rude or confrontational, unless it’s in defense of her little brother. Look out world, here she comes!!
• She’s bossy, yet modest; spicy, yet shy; sensitive, yet strong; gentle, yet confident; precocious, yet sweet; soft, yet determined as hell.
• She’s a big fish in a small pool, and she’s gonna change the world with her quiet fortitude; her reserved self-assurance; and her big, beautiful, kind, caring, empathetic heart.

There are so many other examples for why she’s the best in my book, but these goodies are what popped into my head since our perfect pool day. (If you’re wondering how I managed to remember them, it’s called “Notes” on my iPhone.) I have just one more exchange I want to share:

As I was floating on my blow-up raft in the deep end, my daughter started playfully twirling me around. Unfortunately, I had to tell her to stop because any sort of spinning makes me crazy dizzy in my old age. I went on to explain that mommy used to go on all sorts of fun carnival rides as a youngster—whirly, twirly, twisty, spinny, loopy rides and rollercoasters—but now I avoid them because I get sick so quickly. To my story she replied, “I’m sorry, mommy, I feel bad for you.” I laughed and said I feel bad for me, too! And then she said, in classic form, “You don’t have to feel bad for yourself, mom, because you have awesome kids!” That, ladies and gentlemen, is my cheeky daughter in all her glorious glory! But you know what? She’s damn right. I am a lucky momma! 😊

I’m so thankful for simple, unexpected moments like these that remind me to look past the superficial, inconsequential nonsense that sometimes clouds my judgment as a parent and to appreciate the lovely soul whom God has graced to me. I don’t say it anywhere near enough on these pages, but I love this child to infinity and beyond, even when we’re at odds, especially when we’re at odds. She (and my son, of course) is my most precious gift and my greatest accomplishment, and I’m proud of her every single day. If my children are all I have to show for in this world, well, then I’d say my life is a resounding success.

Here’s to a lifetime of pool days filled with happiness, love, and serenity—both in this world, and the next.